Intro to Classification Essay//Intro #2

The 3 Beaners.....

The legitimizer…we love them. They have a legitimate problem the merchandise is the wrong size/color or we made an error which we occasionally do and we fix that error promptly. Or we guide them to different fit or different product. I love the legitimizer they are polite even when we make and error and know what they want. Then there is the fisher….oh the fisher makes my head ache. They don’t know what they want what color would you get.. do you like this. You always say I like black end it there if not you will describe for hours in detail 22 shades of pink. Oh please decide and call back but no I must guide them like a child to a decision while holding their hand. I smile and send them good loving thoughts while imagining them falling into a bottomless ravine in that mariner blue parka. Or there is the fisher who wants something but won’t ask they have buyer’s remorse and you have to coerce the reason for the call from their soul. If you don’t want it say so we will take it back that is what we do…we want you to be completely satisfied. The 100 percent satisfaction guarantee I believe may eventually be our demise because it has created the ultimate evilone. The evilone you know them when they began to speak I bought these boots in 1955 and the sole is detaching and I want new ones. They are aggressive and usually threaten right from the beginning if they don’t get what they want they will need to speak to your supervisor. That is evilone speak for new free boots because they are not satisfied that the boots lasted 55 years and they don’t feel they got their monetary value from the product. The evilone breaks the blueberry dishes by dropping them from the cupboard and needs a new set and every year in August they call to get a new backpack because the one they bought last August didn’t hold up and of course they need the new color and design. So I’m drowning in a pile of backpacks old boots and broken dishes, holding the hand of the fisher praying they choose before I push them down the ravine in the sugarplum pink parka, and fixing things for the legitimizer hoping he has many friends that will call me back soon. So every time you say Bean how may I help you…you then wait with baited breath to see who you have caught on your line.