Effect Essay...Essay #6

Effect Essay #6

Turmoil with my partner, having to leave Bean permanently until I complete the Med Assist Program, and the opportunity to seek myself is how I have been effected by returning to college at age 38. There have been extreme highs when I found out I was in the program the day before school started, getting my first 100 on test after many years away from school, and feeling like I could fly and float because I was living a dream. There have been lows when I got laid off again and realized can’t go back even in seasonal recall to I finish program, working on the completion of my divorce, and the paralyzing fear of failure that coincide with panic attacks. Then there have been minutes in the middle when you feel like you are just floating on your back in the lake with minimal waves pondering it all but no deciding to flip over and swim yet not decided you won’t at some point.
Turmoil with my partner was so unexpected and yet unexplained. He was so excited I was going to go to college and was so supportive but as the weeks began to roll he became increasingly hostile. He felt he competed for my time with books, and the computer. I tried to schedule so on his days off I had time for him and he would be annoyed if one of the students in my class called or text to ask about an assignment. He had no reference for college other than his sisters “went forever” they both have Master’s in their fields. He felt like are newly formed home was suffering as I didn’t wash the floor everyday anymore and my gym times change to reflect the changes in the demands of my school work. He felt isolated from me because I was discussing new things and I was so excited and he had no reference for these things and was annoyed. Fear I believe it was fear that drove him to blow up one night and he came apart that pieces was strewn all over our life. The fallout left a barren landscape in our home as the trappings of our life disappeared as quickly as they had appeared as if it had all been a mirage. So this was the first and hardest effect of returning to school. I have been affected severely but choose to keep going because I refused to be ruled by what I cannot change.
LLBean is a haven for me as I go back season after season getting about 7 months of work at a time. Each time praying the economy will clear up and I being at the top of the list would get a permanent position since I am a displaced working having lost my real job 3 years ago. Bean is a haven because it is a world filled with people who are also displaced and are simultaneously experiencing the same challenges. These people have become my friends, my confidants, and competitors. We share the same values, moral, politics, family issues, and seek only to do good work for a great employer. We love the job, the challenge and believe in the produce. We share so much more than the work and have become friends outside of work and have been permanently affected by the downturn of the economy but in the darkness have found the light in sharing our lives. So going back to school in January I already had my layoff slip for February 22nd so I knew I would be leaving my haven what I didn’t know, or choose to accept was that if I got recalled which I did for May 1st I wouldn’t be able to go back because the program if for displaced workers. Also I need to be available between 8a.m. and 6p.m 7 days per week for scheduling which I cannot especially with summer term starting on May 17th and me with 4 classes.